OVER-EXTENDED CUTS

Take A Quick Peek At The 10 Longest Movies Ever Made

Credit: Georgia Vagim

Prepare your popcorn and settle in for a cinematic marathon because today we are delving into the realm of epic movie lengths. From intricate historical dramas to weird avant-garde experiments, these films push the boundaries of both time and storytelling.

Get ready to test your endurance, and join us to explore 10 of the longest movies ever made.

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A four-part epic that spans the whole 20th century, "Siberiade" tells the story of a small Siberian village through various generations as it experiences enormous societal and technological changes over time. Lasting almost five hours, "Siberiade"- like most Soviet films of the era - is kind of slow-paced, and the many characters that keep changing as they grow old over the course of the movie can be a bit complicated to follow sometimes, but its captivating story of love and resilience more than makes up for it.

Credit: Annie Spratt

Ingmar Bergman's semi-autobiographical masterpiece follows the tumultuous lives of two siblings in early 20th-century Sweden as they navigate love, loss, and changes in the family. Originally conceived as a television miniseries, a shorter version was created later for cinematic release. However, the TV version was released as an entire movie, making it one of the longest cinematic films in history.

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This intense Italian drama unfolds over six hours, following two brothers, Nicola and Matteo, as they go their separate ways through decades of Italian history and societal changes. A beautiful film about youth, love, and the difficult times lived in post-war Europe, it won many awards, including the most prestigious prize at the Cannes Film Festival.

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French director Jacques Rivette's epic masterpiece, "Out 1" unfolds over nearly 13 hours, weaving together multiple storylines and characters in a labyrinthine narrative. A milestone of avant-garde cinema, "Out 1" challenges viewers to surrender to its immersive world - but, if you are not feeling like spending half a day of your life unraveling it, there is fortunately a somewhat shorter version called "Out 1: Spectre that is only four hours long."

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As the title matter-of-factly implies, "The Longest Most Meaningless Movie in the World" attempts to be exactly that and nothing more. No actual footage was shot for the film, which is entirely comprised of unrelated outtakes, found reels, commercials, newsreels, stock footage, and strips of undeveloped film. I mean, you get the idea… maybe you can just skip this one, unless you are into watching a malfunctioning satellite TV for two days straight.

Credit: Annie Spratt

This humorously titled behemoth of a movie spans a staggering 87 hours - 3 days and 15 hours, mind you. In fact, at the time of its release in 1987, it was recognized by the Guinness World Records as the longest film ever. However, the film was created mostly to document a performance art piece by American artist L.D. Groban, who reads his 4,080-page poem called "A Cure for Insomnia" over the span of three days - and the footage is only occasionally spliced with clips from heavy metal and adult videos.

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Named after the equally intriguing and lovely Russian "matryoshka" dolls, "Matrjoschka" is an experimental film made by German artist Karin Hoerler. The movie has no explicit plot, as all sequences are based on a single photo. First, it shows a boy riding a bicycle, then a street, houses, garages, and finally, the sky. However, movements are so extremely slow that they seem like static images.

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Finally, a sci-fi movie! Well, technically… Despite being almost unwatchable by human standards, this strangely alluring film made by Danish art collective Superflex explores the transformation of human structures, as it shows how Helsinki's Stora Enso headquarters (a local wood-processing factory) would decay over the next few millennia.

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Luckily for you, you couldn't watch this one even if you wanted to. Swedish director Anders Weberg's final film was expected to have a running time of 720 hours (a whole month, if you are wondering) and was scheduled for release in December 2020, but he never went through with his promise. The day came, and the movie never appeared. Funnily enough, while the full movie never saw the light of the day, the director did release a trailer... a seven-hour-long one! - what else could one expect, right?

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If modern consumerist society has a plot, it is certainly the plot of this monumental "documentary" made by Erika Magnusson and Daniel Andersson. The film follows the journey of a simple electronic pedometer in reverse chronological order around the world, from the store where it is sold in Stockholm to the Chinese factory where it was originally manufactured. Its length mirrors the complexity and scale of global commerce, and if you ever wondered where manufactured goods come from, this might be the perfect film for you.

MEDIEVAL WONDERS

The Dancing Plague And 9 Other Bizarre Moments of the Middle Ages

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Although the Middle Ages often have bad press, it was actually a period of vast kingdoms and significant advancements in farming and architecture. That being said, the era also witnessed some truly bizarre and inexplicable events.

From peculiar dancing diseases to accounts of green children and even instances of corpses being put on trial, here we've compiled 10 of the strangest occurrences that took place during medieval times.

Credit: Kenneth Schipper Vera

Let it not be said that the Middle Ages were lawless times. In fact, in medieval times, anyone could face the full weight of the law! And when we say anyone, we mean anyone. Animals, and particularly pigs for some reason, were occasionally put on trial for various crimes, including murder.

These trials reflected a bizarre legal belief in moral responsibility extending to all living beings, and as we'll explore in the next item, even non-living beings!

Credit: Sabina Music Rich

Curiously, there were recurring instances where corpses were tried posthumously for their - real or alleged - crimes. Reflecting a mix of superstition and law, these trials sought justice beyond the grave.

Even members of the Church were not exempt from this bizarre practice. In the year 897, the corpse of the not-so-recently deceased Pope Formosus was exhumed and put on trial. His remains were dressed in papal robes, found guilty of perjury, and finally desecrated. To be fair, it was a time of intense political strife within the Church, but still.

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Believed to be found in a toad’s head, the mythical toadstone was thought to cure poison and illness. In reality, toadstones had nothing to do with toads; they were often fashioned from the button-like fossilized teeth of a Jurassic ray-finned fish.

The association stemmed from the fact that toads have poison glands in their skin, leading to the assumption that they carried an antidote within their bodies, and it was believed that it took the form of a magical stone.

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The story of Saint Guinefort is actually quite sad. According to a popular legend, Guinefort the Greyhound belonged to a knight who lived in a castle near Lyon. One day, the knight went hunting and left his infant son in the care of the dog. Upon his return, he found the nursery in chaos, Guinefort with bloody jaws, and his son nowhere to be seen.

Assuming the worst and blinded by grief, the knight slew the poor dog, only to then hear his son crying next to the dead body of a viper, bloody from dog bites. Realizing his mistake, he buried the dog with honors and erected a shrine in its tomb. Soon, local peasants began treating the dog as a mystical healer and protector. A cult of the saint dog persisted for several centuries, despite several efforts by the Church to eradicate it.

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According to traditional accounts, in 1212, thousands of children set out from Europe, believing they could peacefully convert Muslims in the Holy Land. However, most never reached their destination, succumbing to starvation, slavery, or simply abandoning the journey due to its inherent hardships.

While the story likely emerged from a blend of factual events and myth, there are credible historical accounts describing similar events, particularly movements led by children rather than solely composed of them, such as the account of twelve-year-old French shepherd boy Stephen of Cloyes.

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In the 1700s, a Frenchman named George Psalmanazar claimed to be the first native from the exotic island of Formosa (modern Taiwan) to reach Europe. However, since he knew close to nothing about the real inhabitants of his supposed homeland, he completely fabricated a language and an entire culture.

For some years, he managed to convince many in Britain, but when it was eventually discovered that he was of European origin, he successfully rebranded himself as a theological essayist.

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During the times of the Great Plague, many believed that the terrible disease was a punishment from God for their sins. Following this logic, groups known as flagellants would publicly whip themselves to atone for sins and try to appease divine wrath.

Marching crowds of self-harming fanatics would wander from town to town, gathering more penitents along the way. However, the practice often had the opposite effect intended, as it led to further spread of the disease through their gatherings. Soon, some towns realized that flagellants brought the plague to areas where it had not yet surfaced and began to deny them entry, which only intensified their physical penance.

Credit: Annie Spratt

In 12th century England, during the reign of King Stephen, two children with green skin reportedly appeared in the small town of Woolpit. They spoke a language that nobody had heard before and only ate raw beans. Over time, their skin gradually returned to a normal color, but their mysterious origin remained unknown.

Historians have debated the tale's authenticity, suggesting that if it is to be taken seriously and not merely as folklore, the children could have been Flemish survivors from a recent battle near their hometown. It is also proposed that their unusual coloration could be attributed to a dietary deficiency acquired during their period of being lost and wandering for many days.

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As we have seen, the medieval sense of justice was often bizarre, and rather extreme. Trials by ordeal, such as walking on hot coals or retrieving objects from boiling water, were quite popular. In these cases, survival or lack of injury was considered proof of innocence.

Similar to the method of trial by combat, it was regarded as a means of achieving the "judgment of God." However, in defense of medieval people, it should be noted that the practice was much older, dating back to the Code of Hammurabi, many millennia earlier.

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In one of history's most perplexing moments, around the year 1518, residents of the French medieval town of Strasbourg were suddenly gripped by a compulsive dancing epidemic. Dozens danced uncontrollably for days, and tragically, some even danced themselves to death.

While mass hysteria is still considered a probable cause, along with the possibility of a mass poisoning of some sort, some scientists speculate that it could have been triggered by a nervous system disorder known as Sydenham chorea, which can result from infection with certain bacterial strains. Symptoms include rapid and often uncoordinated jerking movements, primarily affecting the face, hands, and feet of those afflicted.